I am currently on two cancer email update lists, neither one a close friend. Am I supposed to respond to these updates which arrive every week or so? Always? Occasionally? Am I a boor if I never do? One person I see once a year; the other person I run into fairly regularly, and it is generally easy to tell, in person, whether I should say something or not (though I'm not quite sure why).
A dear old friend who lives across the country and whom I see every few years sent a mass email today announcing that her father died last night. He lived on the other side of the world, but I have very fond memories of a good chunk of time I spent with them, long ago. I responded immediately to her email, with some of those memories, my sorrow, my regards to her mother. Do I still send a note (i.e. on paper)?
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3 comments:
I don't think you need to respond to each update unless something in it particularly moves you to do so - never is fine...
The e-mail is fine for your friend, I view these as in most cases superseding a letter (unless it is a special case of some kind), but you might write a paper note to her mother!
I'm with Jenny on the first. On the second, if it were me I know I'd appreciate the note, even if I didn't expect it. Sympathy cards seem to be almost the only actual paper-mail I send any more (other than the occasional contract--odd).
Becca-
Regarding the sympathy note- definitely send. Your friend may not even remember the email because she is in a daze, and she will have the card in hand - and from a wonderfully articulate friend. Getting cards reinforces the sense that a lot of people are supporting her.
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