Although I'm a first-born, I'd heard enough complaints from my younger-child friends about having no baby pictures that I was determined E would be adequately photographed. And she was. I think there may be more pictures of E than of M, so many pictures that eventually I just stopped taking any photos at all. (It's generally feast or famine with the camera around here: we'll take dozens of pictures over a week or two, then none for six months.)
But where E really has been ripped off is in little kid activities. We were never big on storytime, but I'm sure M went at least half a dozen times. E went once. I think I blogged about the art museum activities that we used to take M to every month? E went once.
There are consolations, of course. M didn't go to the ballet till she was eight; E went at four. E's been scrambling up climbing walls since she was two. And don't even ask how much big-kid TV she's gotten to watch...
But the other thing she doesn't have much of is control. So many things we do are M-centered, and even during family activities, M is still there, leading the way.
Today M was out with my mom and I took E to a farm. It was all E. She held the map. She decided to go see the pigs instead of the sheep. She made a friend. They dug in the garden and scared the deer by the pond and hiked through the woods. She got tired and I gave her a piggy-back to the car. We both had a great time.
Must remember to let E lead the way.
[M is reading over my shoulder as I write. Here's what she has to say: "You're saying second children are better than first children. And like E never leads the way! And never is in charge--NOT. She gets carried. Come on, Mom. You gotta think. You aren't thinking, Mom. Think of all the things that she gets and I don't. Such as carrying, perhaps, as an example. Why are you writing everything I said? Mom!"]
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2 comments:
I love M's comments! As a second child myself, I sympathize with E, though actually at some level I think I liked not having to lead. (Then again, I have two siblings younger than me as well, so perhaps all bets are off...)
Same thing here, especially the part about little kid activities. Ana did tap and Kindermusik and gymnastics and swimming. Then with Silvia I decided a lot of those little kid classes weren't worth the energy and I had Ana in so much "real" stuff I didn't have time to take Silvia to park & rec. activities. However, Silvia started Suzuki violin at 3.5 (versus almost 5 for Ana) and was swimming, face in the water, just shy of her fourth b-day. I also need to remember to let Silvia lead the way sometimes. Then again, Ana could say just what M. says because it's true, Silvia is getting babies longer than Ana was.
Equity and equality aren't the same. I try to remember that trying to meet their needs isn't the same as making sure everything is the same for each one (so obvious put that way, no? but so hard to put into practice).
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