There is no reason for a small girl to wear a bikini. Ever. Tankinis; sporty two-pieces: fine. But the ones with the triangles that are meant to hold breasts on someone who has no breasts? No.
I'm not quite sure when boys' trunks sank down to their knees, and it doesn't look so comfortable to me, but then I have never been a boy, or the mother of a boy, so what do I know?
Long-sleeved bathing suits are ridiculous. Put on some sunscreen. Or take a quick dip and then lie in the shade.
Wearing shorts or suits with skirts as camouflage does not work. Ever. Because, aside from ten-year-old girls, who seem suddenly to be wearing tankini-ish two-pieces with skirts (though not my ten-year-old girl), only people who are trying to camouflage wear shorts or suits with skirts. Which means it is obvious that camouflage is being attempted, which only draws attention to that which is purportedly being camouflaged.
At this stage in their fashion evolution, tankinis scream MOM. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Except I don't feel like screaming it. Especially since I hear it screamed so often.
It's OK to wear a bikini. Really. Just make sure it is the right size. And plenty of places sell plenty of well-sized bikinis where you can buy the top and bottom separately so that you are well-sized all over. And, believe me, you will probably look better in the bikini than in camouflage.
Otherwise--that is, if you refuse to take my word for it on the bikini--the best option is a simple tank (maillot, if you're in Europe). The racing-back style works, as does the wide strap/low back option, but I prefer the narrowest of camisole-like straps, with a V or flat neck, like the Danskins I used to wear in high school. Black is boring, but if you must, you must. Colors are good and patterns are fine. Mesh inserts are not OK. Neither is metal. And please, can we not even mention zippers?
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5 comments:
You must have a really nice body because it would be SO not all right for me to wear a bikini, and it hasn't been all right since I was 30 and had my first child. Even in the right size, which I cannot even fathom.
But for those moms who can pull it off (no pun) more power to you!
Honestly, I don't much care if everyone knows that my shorts are for camoflauge purposes. If the message that I am sending to the world is, "Look! I can't be bothered to denude my bikini line," I am OK with that. I'd like it even better if people understood the subtext of that message, which is, "Isn't it stupid that men can just throw on their bathing suits and go to the beach, while women are supposed spend enormous amounts of time primping first?"
Oh my. I disagree. :) My favorite bathing suit of all time -- lost in a theft (they didn't steal the bathing suit, just the bag it was in, among other things) -- made my not-quite-thin body look fabuloso through its mesh inserts.
A tankini is my tribute to the bikini I want -- that's still in my drawer, in fact, so I can stare at it fondly -- but will Never Wear Again. Not just because I will never be that size again, but because no one wants to see my stomach. Really.
And there's the fashion again. :)
I love my tankini, too. It's black and it might as well be a maillot because it's pretty much the same shape, but it gives and isn't too short for me, as most tank suits are, because the top and bottom are separate. It may scream "mom," but I can live with that at this point in my life.
I have to agree with Susan-- I can't imagine baring my stomach again in public, and I'm only 27 (almost 28). No more bikinis for me!
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