Sunday, February 10, 2008

I'm Sorry, But I Just Cannot Resist Some Grammy Live-Blogging

Now, who thought of pairing Rihanna with The Time??????? And were they brilliant or had they just been on meth for way too long?

Loved the umbrellas.

But then the segue into Tom Hanks, awarding a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award to the Band? I mean, I LOVE the Band, and they totally deserve anything they get, but was that weird and undernourished, or what?

And then the BEATLES??? WHY???

But it only gets weirder: Miley Cyrus and Cyndi Lauper???? The one with black hair and white dress; the other with white hair and black dress???

Then we're outside with Jason Bateman (M: "THAT'S THE HUSBAND WHO ADOPTS HER BABY FROM JUNO!!!") and a bunch of electric violinists?

Why, oh, why didn't I take my acid tonight? Oh yeah, because I don't even need to.

OK, Amy's won her award, and I need to put E to bed. I don't know, though, if it keeps going like this, I may be back.

Edited to add: S thinks I'm overreacting, but I don't know...

I'm back. And Kanye West has a tail. But singing for his mom is nice. Though the angel mother floating over him is a little freaky.

Are we the only ones getting this hiccup in the feed? Not so good, for the Grammys...

OK, singing for his mom is really pretty beautiful. But the angel is still freaky.

Fergie. Cannot. Sing. Even in an evening gown.

M is excited over the Best Compilations nominees. Wow. Ringo. All I can say is wow. No, I must say: Wow, Ringo in sparkles. Last man standing. (OK, Paul is standing too, but not on the Grammys stage.)

Coming right up, Cher, Beyonce, AND Tina Turner? Be still, my beating heart! (S says I'm being too cynical, but that is TOTALLY sincere!!)

By the way, M and I are both strongly opposed to "Hey There Delilah." On any and all fronts. But M is torn between "Umbrella" and "Rehab." Luckily, I don't think she'll be staying up long enough to feel pain or pleasure either way.

Cher. Botox. That's all I have to say about that.

Beyonce. Green hot pants. Wow. Love the tribute to Black divas.

Oh man, Tina Is The Coolest Ever. Ever. I mean, Ever. Silver lame bustier and...what are those things anyway? Knickers? (M: "That is an outfit.") R.I.P. Ike. (Uh, I'm afraid we need to say Botox again, but still, she's TINA!) Those dancing girls have some serious abs... Damn hiccup in the feed.

Beyonce back in the shortest silver sparkles ever. "We like to do it nice and...ROUGH." Beyonce and Tina taking it to the streets on "Proud Mary." THIS IS AWESOME. (Seriously, if you didn't see it, search this one on YouTube, people, you will not regret it.) Love that last bit of Beyonce air guitar.

OK, now we're back to the wack combos: Nelly Furtado and Andy Williams?? (and someone I've never heard of, but who cares)

Amy again. OK, parental decision: do we let M stay up to see Amy live by satellite from London? (M: "YES!")

S, in a moment of fashion heroism: "Pedal-pushers!"

Dave Grohl looks exactly as he looked in 1992. "Except healthier," says S.

S again: "Rock is dead." Laughs at me typing as soon as he speaks. Amends: "Not really, but at the Grammys."

George Lopez goes edgy with the election jokes.

Brad Paisley makes M flee the room (she'd already been booted, but was lingering in the doorway). Brad Paisley looks like this guy I used to know who always carried a guitar...hmm, wonder if anyone reading this blog would know who I'm talking about--C from college, do you remember that guy from back around 1986? He showed up again this summer, still carrying that guitar...

M comes back in for one last kiss goodnight: "I love you. I'd like to check you for ticks." (You know, this post so needs links...) (Because I'm too lazy for links, but doubt anyone who reads this blog will get that reference, I'll just tell you it's a line from the Brad Paisley song.)

Good for Kanye, talking over the music trying to cut him off. (S: "He's insane.")

Feel like I should have something to say about this gospel medley, but I don't really. It's nice. Aretha's dress is chartreuse.

I'm glad I'm not an audience member in that weird cage box in front of the stage.

More sparkles on Carole King. This is one sparkly night.

Oh, cool, I finally get to hear Feist.

Hey, I like Feist. Though she's no Amy.

Of course we have her CD, and I had no idea.

Uh, wait, is she standing on a giant scrambled egg?

Kid Rock and Keely Smith? OK. You know, I'm not quite sure if I think Kid Rock is totally disgusting or kind of excellent.

Shot of Bonnie Raitt in the audience.

S, on seeing John Fogerty nominated for Best Rock Album: "Good God."

Keely is confused.

Foo Fighters over Bruce and Wilco?? Wouldn't have been my call... Wait, why are all those people on the stage? Keely looks really confused, and not quite sure why she's on the stage.

S calls it a night (he's not feeling well). Now the question is whether I'm going to stay up for Amy. Especially now that we have YouTube.

Naomi and the lizards...of course.

Stevie Wonder has won 25 Grammies? Think he'll do an Obama plug? Nope: Berry Gordy. Another bizarrely flat tribute.

Alicia Keys: sparkles. And really big earrings. With sparkles.

Ringo and Dave Stewart in matching facial hair and sunglasses. Giving the Best Country Album award??

I must be getting tired: Yitzhak Perlman and Max Roach seems like a reasonable combination--oh, they're just making yet another Lifetime Achievement acknowledgement. Some serious cost/time-cutting in these "tributes."

Reeeaaallllyyyy long piano thing that I'm not paying attention to. Sorry, I just want Amy, but I'm having a feeling that discretion is going to triumph over valor and I'm going to be seeing Amy on YouTube tomorrow...

Oh yeah, Rihanna and Jay-Z for "Umbrella." I'll be happy for M. She's cute. Rihanna, not M. Though she's cute too.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Amy!!!!!! Look at all these people sitting in a club in London at, what, must be 4 in the morning?

OK, gratuitous dancing boys. Amy is vertical. Looking cute. Holding onto the beat, barely.

And she nails it. And even dares to sing "Rehab." With a bit of a smirk. And a real smile at the end. She done good.

Natalie Cole and Tony Bennett? Time for me to go to bed. Oh wait, it's Record of the Year: AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Looking so cute and shocked and disbelieving. Crying in the arms of her back-up dudes. Man, I hope she can stay alive. Is that her mom she's hugging? Kicks it in her speech, and now I am going to BED.

I hope you have enjoyed our time together...

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