Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Hair, Alas

It has been three and a half weeks now, and the time has come to accept the fact that I hate my haircut. I have blowdried and airdried. I have combed, brushed, and barretted. I have raked my hand through my hair countless times a day, in fruitless attempts to casually rearrange. And still I feel hideous.

Mind you, only one person has even noticed I got my hair cut (that was you, J, wasn't it?). Which means either that I am fundamentally hideous, and have only just noticed it, or this is all in my head, which even I can admit is most likely the case. Nevertheless, my head is an inseparable element of myself, psychically and materially, so I must live with its illusions, no matter how untethered from reality they may be.

What is it I hate? I'm not quite sure. The right side is OK, the layers blend in fine, but the left side seems too choppy, almost shelved. As usual, the bottom layer seems to be cut awkwardly right into a wave, though if that is the usual, perhaps my hair awkwardly half-waves right where it is cut? At any rate, the length (just above my shoulders), though what I asked for, seems completely uninteresting and in no way flattering.

Could part of the problem simply be winter with its inevitable pallor, and it's not-so inevitable, but nonetheless present, cold sore at the edge of my mouth, the one that had two delicate friends this weekend delicately gesture at me to indicate that I had food on my mouth? Uh, no, that is reddened and inflamed skin, slowly puckering into whitish scab. Attractive, eh?

But back to the hair. I fear there is nothing to be done, because this is really as short as I go, so the thought of "fixing" it which would inevitably, I assume, entail going shorter, is absolutely impossible. I suppose I must wait for growth, which may in itself prove an improvement, but then will come the inevitable (can you tell how doomed I'm feeling, from all these inevitables?) decision about the haircutter.

I quite like the haircutter, she's very nice, and we've just followed her to a new salon, and, most importantly, she does an absolutely fabulous job on M and E, you just can't imagine how adorable they both look (don't they? really, they do! M has this super bob, shingled in the back and curving around her chin in the front, and E's is shoulder-length with a bit of a layer, and they both look so great, even in winter). So can I keep taking them to the haircutter, without getting my own hair cut? Or do I sacrifice my vanity on the altar of my children's appearance? And how would I even find a new haircutter? I've had so many and they never get it right. Oh, the woes...

Maybe I should just drink a lot of vodka and cover the mirrors till spring.

8 comments:

Jenny Davidson said...

Yes, vodka and mirror-covering!

I think I may have blogged it--but I spent a seriously inappropriate amount of money on Chanel eye gel at the duty-free store at the airport because of the alarmed look on the face of the saleswoman as she contemplated the corners of my eyes and the incipient wrinkle-lines near my mouth... it is just a bad time of year for sleep, pallor etc.!

m said...

i like your hair mom!!!!

Addy said...

I drove a total of an hour and fifteen minutes last Thursday to my haircutter who I refuse to give up despite my moving out of the state. Come to find out she left early and they tried to call me several times at my old home number...Ugh. My hair is sooooo long and scrappy on the ends. I couldn't reschedule till the 31st. I am doomed to hair clips for two more weeks. I empathize with you.

Phantom Scribbler said...

You know, I was idly contemplating getting a real haircut before winter is over (instead of letting it grow out more and then doing it myself, like I usually do). This convinces me that a real haircut will probably *not* lead to the attainment of inner peace. I'll just carry on as before, then. Thanks.

Libby said...

1. It's cracking me up that there are so many comments on this already. Truly, we are all sisters under the skin on this one.

2. I just got my hair cut last week, shorter than it's been in a while, and I'm feeling the same way. So far two people have noticed and I think it's a wreck. Hmm.

(I'm sure M is right, too!)

jackie said...

I think you are familiar with some of my recent hair angst, but let me recap anyway:

In August, I got a terrible, no good, very bad haircut that I hated and cost $70. I waited until a few weeks ago to get another haircut so that the horrible parts could grow out enough to still keep my hair at the length I prefer. I LOVE my new haircut, which is perfect and exactly what I wanted.

No one in my life, except for my husband and sister who hear me complain all the time, even noticed my second, wonderful haircut, or how horrible the first haircut truly was.

But I know, and it makes every morning better!

Felicia said...

Go for the haircut! It may just turn out fabulous :)

postacademic said...

I think we've covered the hair - my particular sympathies are with the cold sore. Me too. I went out today with deeply unwashed hair, no makeup, no earrings, no face to meet the faces - no wonder I felt like a failure. I feel like I need a deep sauna and brisk plunge and then a vodka.