I was strangely pleased today, as I drove around town, to see so many Christmas lights still up. In this odd half week, they allow me to feel that we are not quite launched into the core of winter, when all there is to do is work and be cold and wait for the warmth and light to return.
For the next five months, I have more work than I can imagine doing, though reality will trump imagination and I will inevitably do it. Starting out on my own, I can't say no, especially when I'm offered good work that I want to do, and that will advance me toward places I want to be. I did, in my last non-festive act on December 31, quit one gig that gave me some fun, little money, and no visibility. In turn, on January 2, I picked up a piece that will be interesting, good money, and possibily very useful in moving me forward, so it feels as if, for the moment, my planets are aligned.
For the last few days, I felt boggled by what lies ahead, especially because I spent yesterday in a day-long meeting that was not productive until the last hour. But today I went to work, where I work on Tuesday and Thursday, and it was good, and I had some spare time to get organized for tomorrow, and everything started to seem more manageable. I am trying not to work in the afternoons and evenings when I'm alone with the girls, so when I got home with them, around 3:30, I attended to their snack/homework/Mommy needs and read the paper. I'd planned to work while they swam, but my library books were just too attractive, so I read instead, but that was only possible because, really, once I am actually doing the work, everything seems manageable.
When I work all day and get things done, mother effectively, and even have time to read, I feel like I am competently managing a life I love, even if it's cold outside.