I'm not quite sure why it's so upsetting to be hated by someone you have no respect for.
I got a nasty email today from someone I think is dreadful. He is an egotistical, sexist, cruel, stupid man whom I had to deal with for many years. We pretended to be pleasant most of the time, but the pretence appears to be up. I wasn't at all surprised to hear how he feels about me (indeed, I may understand his feelings better than he does, given their transparent roots in his own suppressed anxieties), but he also accused me of things I didn't do, misinterpreted things I said, claimed that lots of other people share his feelings, and cced the email to somebody I like and respect enormously.
I didn't reply. But I've been consumed with...well, I'm not quite sure what. Anxiety. Sadness. Frustration. Fear. And really, I couldn't care less what this guy thinks about me. But it's still so unpleasant.
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3 comments:
Good luck with the situation - I hope it resolves itself well.
However, I wanted to call out the phrase I may understand his feelings better than he does for attention - I would contend that that is a dangerous illusion.
I don't believe it's possible to know what's going on inside someone else's head from their perspective, and the further description you gave makes it clear ("their transparent roots in his own suppressed anxieties") that your perspective on his actions and feelings would necessarily be different from his.
His actions are assholish, and that's enough reason for condemnation - knowledge of his internal state isn't necessary.
You can take heart that you pissed him off enough to write a nasty email. I imagine his festering little heart gives him sleepless nights as he chews over how awful everyone else is and plots ways to make other people feel shitty. I just feel bad for his co-workers.
I've been there--it's no fun.
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