Friday, February 23, 2007
The Game
I don't understand why my children spend as much time negotiating the game as actually playing it, but I have come to accept that the negotiation is part of the pleasure of the game. These days, however, part of the negotiation is over who gets to be better ("I'm better at gymnastics, but you're the better dancer." "No, I want to be the better dancer."), and this I simply cannot stand.
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2 comments:
Oh. the game? The game itself is almost always meaningless. The real work of group play is the negotiation - that is where they practice and rehearse all the tasks of social interaction: boundary setting, decision making, persuasion, and alliance building. This is also where they begin to play with power and control as in "I'm the better dancer, you're the better.." The actual game is always beside the point. Until you are a grown=up, play is never a game. For kids, it is always work.
I am obviously a better mother than you because my kids never negotiate: they just smack each other a few times, or head back to the television.
In your case, the reason that they are "negotiating" so much is because of their insecurities in relation to confrontation. Let them battle it out. When you figure out who the wimp is, it will save you years of confusion.
Alternatively, you could just tell each of them that she will be your favorite as long as she stops negotiating?
That's healthy parenting, right? Or else ear plugs.
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