I called S yesterday afternoon around 5, weeping, and asked if he could come home (I never ask if he can come home: unless the emergency room is involved, he can't come home). He said he was trying to leave by 7. I wept some more and said that would make no difference, because he'd just get home in time for E to go to bed. He said he'd see what he could do. 15 minutes later, he called and said he was leaving in 10 minutes. He got home around 6, brought M (who is now perfectly healthy, except for her slapped-cheek rash) dinner from the restaurant, and cajoled and consoled E (who is extremely stressed out by her sick mother). Then he played games with E while M got in bed with me and did her homework and chattered. It was almost like the kind of evening I imagine normal families have--except with a supine and fevered mother.
***
My kids are generally nice kids. They say please and thank you, they temper their developmentally appropriate gluttony with genuine concern for those who have less than they do, and they have the capacity to be enormously helpful. But they are not particularly interested in the feelings of their parents, which is also presumably developmentally appropriate.
Except that M seems just to be turning the corner into...not sure what to call it: empathy? altruism? When she went back to school yesterday, we agreed that I would come check on her at lunchtime and see if she was up for finishing the day. I found her in the cafeteria with her friends, checked out her slapped-cheek rash, discussed how her day was going, and we decided she would stay. Then, without any prompting, she asked, "And how are you feeling?" The day before she held me when I was shaking with fever, even though later on she said it had been scary (she didn't let on at the time). It's kind of exciting to think that someday all this hardcore parenting may result in a relationship of reciprocity!
***
M is off to her play. My parents have come out in the blizzard to take her to the theater, take E out to dinner, see the play, and bring them home. I am free to crawl into bed and shiver--and ache: I've reached the aching joints stage. I suppose I'm slipping away from silver linings here, but truly, it is a good thing to be sick alone rather than sick caring for children.
5 comments:
Oh Becca! Hope you feel better SOON!
Becca, sweets. I hope this illness fades quickly. But I have to tell you that this is a beautiful piece of writing.
It is better to be sick alone than with kids, better yet to have kids who can actually care for you. You're well on the way. Hope you're feeling better!
yes, feel better...
Hope you feel better soon! My girls have gotten to the point also where they will try and be sweet to me when I am feeling sick, but it doesn't last too long, and then I am snapping and shrill and sniffling again. I hate being sick with kids-- sick alone is so much better!
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