Friday Night Movie

After all that build-up, now I suppose I must comment upon the premiere of the all-new Disney movie Jump In.

E liked it but wished it went on to show states and then nationals and then worlds.

M liked it and she said something else but I forget what it was.

I was somewhat boggled, as usual, but my reactions, I do believe, fell into the following categories.

1. Athleticism. Double-dutch is super-cool.

2. Race. I was pretty impressed that Disney made a movie with token white people. Seriously, it was just like liberal movies starring white people that have token black people. The hero, the heroine, their friends, their families, the bad guy, the teacher, the wise old guy at the boxing gym, and a ton of background folk: all black. Half the nemesis jump rope team, the girl boxer, the little sister's two friends, and a few more background folk: white. And the crowd of little kids in the next-to-last scene? All black except for one token white. Very cool.

3. Consummation. None (this is DISNEY, people: I'm talking about the kiss). It was clear that the heroine and the hero had a thing for each other, and it was even made explicit at the end that they were a couple, but there was no romantic drama, no clinch, no kissing. I thought that was pretty cool too (in High School Musical, the romance of the hero and heroine is central to the plot).

4. Narrative. Hmm, I don't exactly mean narrative, but I'm not sure of the term for what I mean; what I'm talking about is the way the story unfolds. In a word: didactically. Only I think I might need another word or two: leading, obvious, condescending to any viewer with a modicum of intelligence, let alone readerly (viewerly) capability. There was a lame voiceover that told you everything. To give just one example, and this happens constantly: about ten minutes into it, the voiceover tells you that the bad guy has a hard life. I mean, of course the bad guy has a hard life and eventually becomes good: this is Disney television--we're not talking Cruella De Ville. But given that we know it's going to happen, couldn't they let us figure it out for ourselves? And the soundtrack? Oh my god, could it have been any less subtle? There is absolutely zero room for inference: it's all just laid out in front of you. How are our children going to learn to interpret?

Other than that, basically we're talking High School Musical with boxing instead of basketball and jump rope instead of theater, even down to the boy (basketball player/boxer) who wants to (be in the play/do double dutch) with the girl being coached by his dad who is highly invested in his hereditary masculinity, but eventually sees his son perform and comes around. There's no singing and dancing in this one, though there is the annoying soundtrack and the awesome jump-roping, and there is the cool addition of the white girl boxer who tells the hero to do what he wants to do and not worry about what other people think (I know, cliche, but she's a girl boxer!), and there's a lot less homosexual agenda, in fact, this one goes for homosexual panic (when the bad guy's best friend puts his arm around him and the bad guy flinches) (though now that I think about it, he's still the bad guy then, so maybe the aim is to critique homosexual panic, but, you know, it's all still homosexual panic, even though it is obviously meant to be Bad when he uses pink as part of mocking the hero for jump roping).

Oh and--M's favorite point--Corbin Bleu has great hair.