On Yoga

I am generally at peace with my yoga capacities. I'm very flexible, my balance is mediocre, I can stay in full Lotus for as long as it takes, my hips are always crooked in Warrior II, forget headstand, but my Shivasana is to die for.

The breathing, though, oy, the breathing.

I can never get it right. You know when the teacher says "Now exhale"? I'm always at inhale. And when she says "Inhale," and then proceeds to tell you 16 things to do while you inhale? Am I supposed to hold my breath that whole time? Or exhale then inhale then exhale then inhale, really fast, so I'll be able to exhale with her when she's done? No clue. Then there's the question of whether it's more yogic to follow my body (breathe when I need air) or follow my teacher (breathe when she tells me to).

I try so hard not to be my usual Type A self at yoga: not to look at the people around me to see how they're doing, or to push myself as far as I can just because that's how I usually do things. But the breathing just stymies me, and generates the tension the yoga is supposed to disperse.

Maybe I can find a website on yoga breathing. Or a book. Or a special class. Or maybe a tutor. Is there an accessory that would help? Can I order it online? I'll take the more expensive one, really, I will! Especially if the woman next to me already has one. You know, the woman with the cute yoga pants and little top that shows her belly, the one who does full backbend and headstand and never needs a block? Her. I bet she's breathing right, and if she can do it, I will too!